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Do you ever feel like Christianity isn’t working for you? Do others seem to flourish spiritually, while you sit idly by, struggling and not feeling the love and security they are obviously in tune to?

I’ve been there for long periods of time in my life. It’s like seeing people sing … without the ability to hear the joyous melody or the soul quenching lyrics. Like watching people eat, while sitting by and only dreaming of how a warm brownie and ice cold vanilla ice cream melt in their mouths. Or being on a ride at the fair. The ride tech does everything in his power to make the little spinny teacup ride as enjoyable as possible, but as I spin around and around, the laughter never spills over. Because I’m so void of joy that the simple pleasures of life are no longer pleasures. They’re annoyances. And it seems as though spiritual life becomes a joy and satisfaction meant for others only.

That’s not how God wants it, of course. He wants us to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” Has he not given us all things richly to enjoy?

In my soul searching, and studying, I’ve come to realize that the missing ingredient to joy is usually belief. Or you might say faith. It’s one thing to read God’ Word and agree with it. It’s another to believe the promises that are clearly laid out.

Does having a double dose of faith mean that all of my life’s circumstances will turn out for the better? Does it mean I’ll never lose a child? Never get sick? That my kids will always make good decisions?

Of course not. But expecting those things (wittingly or unwittingly) will wreak some serious spiritual havoc.

I’m not going to claim that I understand why one person has trials and not another. Or why the jerks of this world seem to get much further than the godly. It truly does not make any sense to me, and it seems as though the evil flourish while the righteous perish at times. But am I going to believe that God is in control, and that all things work together to those that love Him? Will I choose to believe Psalm 1 when it says, “For the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish”?

It’s evident to me that true joy and happiness are determined in which belief I choose.  

I can believe all things work together for my good. Or not.

I can believe He loves me with an everlasting love. Or not.

I can believe  He loves my children more than I do. Or not.

I can believe every hardship placed in my life has a purpose, and He is working. And pruning. And refining my heart. Or not.

I can either be tossed to and fro, like a ship on a stormy sea. Or I can be rooted, grounded, and peaceful …

         like a tree
         Planted by the rivers of water,
         That brings forth its fruit in its season,
         Whose leaf also shall not wither;
         And whatever he does shall prosper. (Ps. 1:3)

It all depends on what I believe.

Or not.

“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24