On our way home from church a few weeks ago, Shaun turned to me and said, “I heard you singing this morning.”

I opened my mouth to apologize (hehe), but he was finishing his statement.

“I think you have a very pretty voice.”

No, he’s not an awful husband for not telling me sooner. And yes, I considered being a smarty pants and asking him if he finally got rid of all that waxy buildup in his ears. I thought, after attending church together for over 20 years, he’s just now hearing me sing?!

But the truth is that these days, I’m singing louder. More joyfully. Like I mean every word. It’s what happens when the truths you’ve studied in God’s Word move from head knowledge … to heart knowledge. And when heart knowledge comes, you’ll find your thoughts shifting from How on earth can I possibly sing? to How can I possibly keep from singing?

As with all spiritual growth, it was a process. For me, the process went kinda like this:

First, a cloud of trouble came and made my skies gray …

then I doubted, and feared He was hiding His face from me, convinced He didn’t love me anymore, or maybe never did …

but because He is faithful, He showed me that His love is everywhere, that His forgiveness knows no end; that I had simply chosen to forget, to dabble in unbelief …

I needed to repent …

so I told Him I believed …

but asked Him to help my unbelief …

to help me believe that He was there, and that He cared, yes. But more specifically, I asked Him to help me believe that He had borne my grief, carried my sorrows, was wounded for my transgressions, and that I was healed by His stripes (Isaiah 53:4, my paraphrase).

Healing. That’s what I needed …

so I told Him my desire was to be healed, and to stop hurting …

I asked for the healing to be instant, and although He has not granted that, it has at least begun. And you know what happens to a freshly (albeit partially) healed heart?

It becomes joyful.

And a joyful heart sings.

So what volume are you singing at these days? Are you mute? A little on the soft side of singing His praises like I was for so many years? If so, ask the Lord to reaffirm His promises to you in the coming year. Work through whatever is causing your unbelief with Him by studying His Word, and seeking the advice of close, godly friends.

Because I promise … He answers the prayers of those who believe and desire to believe more fervently. And when He answers, you will sing. Not because it’s church time, or because you’re expected to in any way.

But because your joy cannot be contained.