Musings From The Sick Bed

Don’t worry. This will not be a detailed post about the … ahem … “ins and outs” of the stomach flu. Here at the BQ, we keep it polite. But I’ve had most of the week to think, which has been nice in some ways, not so nice in others. Rather than explain it all before I explain it all, I’ll just lay it out for you:

Funny Musings:


Hmmm …..

Let’s seeeeee .….


I thought I had something …

I’m sorry. I guess I don’t see the humor in my body emptying itself of every ounce of fluid it possesses in record time. However, on day four, it was very warm outside, and my days of being one with the toilet were mostly gone, so I slipped on some comfy shorts and a tank top and decided to bask in the healing power of sunshine. Before I went out, I told my very sweet, almostsixteenyearoldsonwhoisattractingwaytoomanygirls that I was discouraged because of my chicken legs.

His response?

Shaking shoulders.

“It’s not funny,” I say. “I was starting to get a little flesh on my bones before all of these …. explosions … that I’ve … you know … had. And now look at them.”

More shaking.

I give him the you’re going to be grounded if you don’t stop it look, but he carries on.

“What, Mom? You’ve never noticed you have chicken legs? They’re always like that!”

Please do not try and contact my man-boy and tell him how funny he is. He is grounded.

Serious Musings:

I could go on and on here, but I will just say that I’m thankful that even though my level of health is below most of my peers (uhm, ok … all of my peers), I’m thankful for what I’ve got. Being one with the john has brought back some pretty yucky memories, and really … if I never potty hug again in my whole life, I will be fine with that.

My father-in-law says that puking is what you do right before you die. I’m here to tell you he’s wrong. But wished he was right.

I always wondered what would happen if I got the stomach flu on top of my every day stomach and intestinal issues. It’s hard to explain, but it’s akin to throwing gasoline on flames. It turns your little camp fire sickness into a blazing forest fire sickness … and that makes Smokey the bear veeeeewy angwy. Trust me on this. He told me his own self … in my dreams immediately following IV fluids and … whatever the heck else they put in there.

In other news, I am going to go on a picnic tomorrow. Rumor has it that it will be 80 degrees and mostly sunny and that sounds a tad bit more delightful than perching myself on this living room couch with nothing to stare at but the television. So, I’m headed to the prairie, people. Where the buffaloes roam and make pies for my kindling so I can roast hot dogs.

Sorry. I am having trouble being serious when I feel so cynical. I will try to do better …

Spiritual Musings:

In all seriousness … will the little carpet crawler at church who wiped their little stomach flu germs all over me please raise your pudgy hand!!?? 

Whoops. I’ll try again.

Deeeeeep breath ….

Okay. In all seriousness …

I admit to wondering what on earth is going on spiritually this week. After giving my testimony for the first time ever at a Woman’s Conference on Saturday, God lays me flat (flat, I tell you!) with illness. I know I’ve been hitting it hard lately with my writing and it’s been incredibly stressful to share struggles that I have hidden in the deep, deep crevices of my heart for over twenty years. So I finally come out and be brave and announce to the world how Jesus has healed me, and He says

ZAP!! You’re a toilet hugger.

Not that I think I was doing God a favor, or that He needs me or anything. But I did think I was on the right track and growing and hopefully helping others in the process …

So why the time out session?

Am I being punished? Redirected?

Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer yet. I know it’s given me more time to pray. All of my kids are going through things that require much prayer, and maybe I needed to focus on that for a while rather than my writing.

Writing a book isn’t all there is to life …

I haven’t been able to read or write much, but sometimes I think it’s more beneficial to just be quiet and listen. Talk to the Lord.


So that’s what I’ve done. And while I’m fairly fitful and ready to hit the ground running again, God has seen fit to make it a very slow process. Each night, I’ve gone to bed and said to myself, “Self, I bet tomorrow’s the day of healing.”

And every morning I say, “You’re so dumb. Stop being such an optimist and let God decide when He’s going to heal you.”

It’s day five. I am at a point of complete acceptance. I will be one hundred percent when He says so.

Until then … I will pray and enjoy the sun and the Son and when He tells me to take up my bed and walk pen and write, I will.

What’s that?

No. No, this blog post does not qualify as writing. This is just me, thinking out loud. With my fingers. Writing is work. Studying, praying, think, think, thinking, and editing and re-editing. And as you can tell, not a whole lot of thought, praying, or editing has gone into this post.

Ta ta for now, sweet readers. May you stay healthy, whole, and may you never become one with the john.

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2 Responses to “Musings From The Sick Bed”

  1. Christina says:

    Wow, that was so good! I have stomach issues too. They are not quite as bad as yours, but I can definitely relate! Especially to wanting so much to be healed…and even believing that God will heal you, when in fact He might just have other plans. Thanks for writing… great post! :)

  2. Ugh.

    But your sense of humor shines through anyway. :)

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