Selfie Blog – A Farmhouse and Health Update


I’m shooting from the hip with this post, so to speak. No editing. Just raw writing. I do this when it comes to talking about my health, because if I edit, I sugar coat for fear of sounding whiny and then you guys don’t get the real scoop.

So … here goes.

A while back, I wrote this post and vented the frustration I was having with chronic illness. The frustration is still there, because the illness is still there. However, when I wrote that last post, I was being hit harder than normal, due to our water situation here at the farmhouse.

In case you’re not in the loop — our well water makes me sick. It sounds absurd and truth be told, it probably is absurd.

But absurdity doesn’t change the facts.

About three weeks ago, when I was washing dishes, I was unaware there was a hole in my rubber gloves. That’s all the exposure it takes for me to experience symptoms. A light wash of the hands will put me in a tail spin for two or three days, and full body showers throw me for loops I’ve still not completely found my way out of.

*insert Charlie Brown “good grief” here*

So – the update is just this:

We don’t know what’s in the water (it’s currently being tested) that would make me so sick. But whatever it is, I’m experiencing some long(ish) term effects from it. There’s either an underlying issue going on physically, and the water caused it to flare up, or there’s something seriously, seriously (no … seriously) nasty in the water. Time will tell. However – if I can be cliche – I am sensing a light at the end of the tunnel.

*clap, clap, clap, clap*

Just yesterday, I woke up and said to myself, “Self …  I remember you!”

Today, I woke up and my little self was still there. Of course, this is the self that suffers chronic illness on a regular basis. But it’s also the self that has been largely given the grace to fight through and care for her family.

Under the influence of well water, those graces were largely removed, as were many spiritual graces. To say it another way, things got bad physically, which in turn caused emotional issues, which caused spiritual issues. At least that’s the order it felt like it happened.

It’s not been fun. Not for me, not for Shaun, not for anyone. For that, I apologize publicly. I’ve been hard to live with, because it’s been hard to even desire to live at times. I’ve had days where my thought process was that if this was to be my next phase of illness, I didn’t want to go on. I was done.


As you can imagine, work at the farmhouse has been scarce where I am concerned. I’ve mainly kept my level of work to simple daily duties, but at times, I’ve not been able to do even much of that, either. Thankfully, dinner was usually cooked and (eventually) cleaned up, and the guys only had to go without underwear for a few weeks at a time.

I kid …

I was also able to make it to church most weeks and continue writing a few (probably very poor) blogs, even though I do remember telling a few people after church I didn’t have the cognitive ability to carry on a conversation with them.

Bless your hearts. I’m sorry.

Shaun has worked hard and valiantly to rig up a shower system that enables me to take showers, brush my teeth, wash my hands after handling raw chicken, etc in city water. You know, the kind that’s loaded with chemicals one would think would make me sick, but doesn’t. We fill up a 200 pound tank (that sits in the back of our truck) at his sister’s house, and then transport it in 5 gallons buckets to a make-shift, 65 gallon cistern in our bedroom that may or may not get us arrested someday for suspected moon shinin’.

Maybe I’ll post a picture of it later …

Shaun and Andrew have been gracious to haul the water, since I am too puny to carry five gallon buckets up a flight of stairs. (I have, however, been declared the bestest funnel holder of the year, thankyouverymuch).

We fill up the large tank about every eight or so days. And we fill the small, house cistern every four days or so, depending on how fast the hair on my legs and armpits grow. Some days, I just take quick, wash the sweat off kinda showers. Other times, a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do because her hairy legs start to scare people away.

I find that, as long as I am super careful about exposure, I make a slow climb toward recovery. Also, I have to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep. If I don’t, I’m back to nasty fatigue. Sometimes, I will still have a half day or a few hours of that water-sick feeling, but those times are getting farther apart.

To those of you who have prayed – thank you!! And uhm, just because I’m making the trek back to my “normal sick”, doesn’t mean I no longer covet your prayers. I desperately need them, daily. My entire family needs them. But I know some of you went into overtime prayers for me since February, and for that, I owe you. And love you. And cherish you.

Lemme know how I can repay you. I’ll do anything.

In other health news, we are looking at some options that might help further support my body through what is basically malnutrition. More on that as we are able to learn more, but for all you pray-ers out there – (please, please, please!) keep on keepin’ on! God hears you, and answers on my behalf.

I leave you with a grateful heart ~ a heart that is finally hopeful. A heart that can simply (Lord willing) look forward to life with a grandbaby nearby, and two more on the way.

These three wee ones have often kept me going emotionally during the last four months. At my lowest, I often would lie down and reminisce with photos of JackJack, and dream of what the next two will be – two boys, two girls, or one of each? Thank you to the two best daughters in the world who have often kept my mind busy with their texts, phone calls, and mutual book readings. You probably didn’t know how deeply you were ministering to your Mama. But I will never forget the way you made me laugh (and cry) in the midst of a very dark season.

Much, much love to all of you.


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One Response to “Selfie Blog – A Farmhouse and Health Update”

  1. Jan Cavender says:

    So sorry to hear of all your problems. I am currently on a detox to get heavy metals out of my system. I was so weak in my hips, knees and back that I couldn’t do much stuff at all. Thank the Lord, I am so much stronger now. The reason I’m mentioning this to you is that Dr. Fleming thinks the metals came from the well water we had in Brighton when I was growing up. (LONG time ago!) He is finding many different metals, and treating them one at a time, so it is taking awhile. Just thought you might be interested. His practice is MVP Wellness Center. His name is Mike Fleming. 303 651-1400. He just got a new number but this one works for awhile. I’ve not gone to his website but it is If you want to talk to me about this, my phone is 303 772-9356, or cell 303-588-4269. No need to call me unless you want to. Just wanted to give you this info. Will pray for you as the Lord reminds me.

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